now then i know i'm so blessed to have kad and i regret having some 'bad mindset' the last time.we don't really quarrel.not that our relationship was so strong,so loving or so wad,we jus being too peaceful le..we hardly talk to each other.we dun meet up every once a week.we don't boils at the same degree.we jus dun..click.cause of this,i often cry to myself.thinking how if one day he doesn't belongs to me anymore,how if he loves someone else and not me,how if he doesn't really wan to be with me in the first place,how if he's more click to other girl,how if...how if..HOW!!i'm afraid of letting go.i holds him tightly in my heart,wouldn't dare to let it go.i'm afraid if its loosen abit it will goes on till he's gone.will that day come true?i think it will..ours really very demanding.sometimes i can be quite tired clingy to it all the time.i know how exactly is zoe's feeling.i know she's trying hard too.i know she's sad cause the opp. doesn't know what really is she thinking.all she wans is jus YOU to love her,trust her with all ur heart.same goes to me.but its always very easy to say 'i love you'.but do u really love me?or jus wanting to make me happy?i don't know..
i never had a relationship which last more than 2 weeks till i met kad.this is the first time i feel happy being with a guy,feel safe,feel that he's right for me and i should give it a try.i love being with him.at least he let me feel that he's trust worthy.never make me sad,never make me shed a tear.but i cry not because of him.is jus that.i'm thinkin abit too much.he'll let me know the way i'm thinking was wrong and he changed my life.that's why we could last till now.. its our 3mths...
before him i was with another guy.we knew each other when we're in sec 2.during that time, our relationship is not tt good yet.everything happens when he and his gf broke up at the end of the year.we were very good.although this 'very good term' keep us for 2 and a half years,my feelings for him is jus a very good brother and sister relationship.this is why the flower between us doesn't blossom.the care he show me,the love he puts in,everything everything,is all because of me.i just wan to say 'i'm sorrie' to him.but i jus wan him to know everything he did,i really appreciate it and i'll taste the love and hardwork and remembers it.just wanting to say 'i love you' for the very last time. cause now i wan to let everyone knows that i can't live without kad...(please think carefully before you make any decision,especially tt gal)hais..i jus wan u to b happier...
kad and i know each other during sec 3 OBS camp.i really admirer him alot.the way he did his thing,the determination he had,the times where he tried to talk to me..hahas..that was really so sweet.i also can't remember how i start talking to him during the 2nd last day of our camp.he told me the truth after i got fooled by mic for the past 3 days.i really feel so stupid.i think that's why he is attracted to me ba?cause i'm always so dumb so cute indeed..to him..hahas~
i'm deeply INLOVEWITHYOU yes i do
oh ya.talked abt OBS,i got something to share with everyone.quite funny actually,even till now.
i remember tt time we need to take those sampan to go pulau ubin.so we lined up to get into the boat.we actually had to bend our head to get through cause the height was quite low.well, suddenly i heard a loud 'BANG!'.i faster open my eyes big big to see wad actually happens.i saw one of my gd friend squating down at one corner,both hand on her fore head and keep giving a very painful expression.hao lor..the thing is she 'kay-kiang' go jump down the stairs so she hits her fore head against the frame of the 'door'.hahas.. *guess who:the gal was Y.L.P*
by the time we reached pulau ubin,its already early afternoon,raining very heavily.suddenly i feel warm down 'there'.i faster run to the toilet and check.'OH FARK!' i ran out and saw one of my friend digging her bag,i shout 'PRIS!' she looked up and we uses lip readin to communicate cause its abit embarrassing.i go 'do u have...ppaaddd??' she gave me a very shocked expression and faster look into her bag and dig for me.she threw that thing passing every single ones head jus to reach me.(cause the path were rather small,and its raining heavily outside so we're cramp together.)that's veh embarrassing cos everyone looked up as though there's a 'shooting star' abv.i took it and put it on quick.
unluckily,after the rain stopped,out first mission was to do a 'JETTY JUMP'.i was like 'omg omg omg omg....OMG!!' while standing on the plank, i was thinking how if my *** flies off,how if it floats later on,how if...how if...how if...and i go "SPLASH!!' lucky everything was okay...lol.
this is the climax of the story.hahas.we went for kayaking later on.we got to change to our sea wear before we could grab a kayat and start the fun.my instructor then ask me to stuff one more *** inside my pocket incase we will be going back late.so i did.after we all were in the kayat on the sea,we were actually going to make a 'turn-over'.i didn't think much at that point of time.so we did.it was GREAT!hahas..and the other boat came to rescue and we got the make the 'see-saw' thingy.while we were in process for half way,i saw something suaving at my right side, i tot is jelly fish so i faster turn my head and look wad exactly it is.oh f***!its my ***!!i try to push it further away from me but it jus far too disobedient.i looked around to confirm no one is looking, i quickly grab and stuff it in my pocket.hais..lucky no one saw tt.that was the most tired day i ever gone through....now u guys know its so hard and so tiring for being a girl...
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