What I feel may not be right, but what you think may not be the fact.

This is how I feel about my parents, my family. It's my MUM who has been paying for my pipa lesson all these years. Now that I've finally decided my path, I hope that she can be supportive rather than saying I'm wasting her money. Maybe she don't see it now (like I'm wasting her money for something she don't know what is it for) cause I don't voice out, but that doesn't mean I doesn't want to be one. I'm afraid that I may not earn enough to support myself in the future because there's so many people outside this world so much better than me. So if they got the choice, why should they choose me? Not all interest can earn you a living.

And it's my dad who pay and plan for my birthday party. I'm really very grateful and happy for what he had done because this is something I did not expect. I may be talking about friends infront of you all, but I've been talking about how great my parents, my sisters is when I'm with my friends. I've been telling people how great my parents is, i got a mum who take cares of me so well and i always feel sorry for hurting her unexpectedly. I got a dad who will sms me and ask how do I feel whenever im sick and plans a bday party for me driving me around just to look for a suitable place for my bday. I got a stingy elder sis who is never stingy towards me and hug me when i cry. She's just like a second mother to me. Yeah, i got 2 mum and sometimes she's more naggy than my mum. I may not have respond while you're nagging me but inside me, im actually reflecting deep inside me. I got a younger sister who wakes up and massage my leg for me in the middle of the night when my leg cramp and always help me whenever i ask her to do something for me. All my friends know it, u can just grab anyone and ask how much i thank god for giving me a wonderful family. And all along when I pray, I don't pray for my own good, i pray for my family. I want everyone to be happy, healthy and stay together forever. Like wise for my birthday, i didn't wish anything for me but for my family. And i've been sharing how great is it to have a family day and the stuff i've done with my family during our family day. You all should guess it, even before the fortune teller says it. I don't reject people, i find it hard. I know this is bad so i've been carrying that 'lion' with me all the time!! Hope it helps lah!!!

This is how much I love all of you, so please stop saying I want friends more than family. Just to let u know my life is not only surrounded by friends, but if you all think that I only be good and stay home for certain reason then let it be cause that is what you all think about me. Just to let you know, that's not what I think at all.

Sometimes it rather contradicting. I've been telling my friends the values of 'family' where as my family is telling me that i don't put family in heart. Now i want to say it again, never compare because it took forever to compare. Don't compare your family with mine, why don't you compare yours with those orphan or those who had lost their parents during a disaster? So now see who's living in a more blissful world? Should feel lucky and stop complaining.

There's all these thoughts that I never share, that's why I always feel that whatever I done no one appreciate. I'm trying my best to learn step by step, and please stop scolding me. I'm already changing to what you want me to be step by step.